discouraged.

kindergarten was rough.  rough for g.  rough for me.  we finally pulled it out in the end, but it wasn't pretty.  i had such high hopes for first grade.  we studied SO hard for his first spelling test.  he took a spelling test at home EVERY day starting on sunday.  he rewrote his incorrect words.  work work work.  by thursday night he knew all ten words and one of his bonus words.  on friday i cheered him on as i dropped him off and anxiously asked him how he did when i picked him up.  "good." he says.  i got his test back monday with a big fat 65 U on it and ugly angry marker marks everywhere.  they only gave him five words and one bonus.  he spelled them all right, but his handwriting was fairly illegible on two so they were marked wrong.  i almost cried.  maybe i did a little.  the next day i showed his teacher all our hard work and asked her if he could please retake the test.  i got her response today.  "we really focus on handwriting in first grade."  i am sad. and unmotivated. and i am a mother. and a teacher.  good thing g is still a happy go lucky little thing who tells me, "it's just one test."  sigh. :(

Comments

[Sasha Farina]

it's just one test, as he said. he'll only get better after this. *hugs* mama don't be discouraged, please. . .

[Tracie Claiborne]

Doris - I am a little angry about this. Isn't the point of a spelling test to see if they can SPELL? Caroline's handwriting is atrocious sometimes and I have marked spelling test words wrong if I couldn't read them but that is because I warned her time and again to be neat and I know she can. Gabriel is in the first grade - he's still on a major learning curve with writing! Wow. To say he spelled them all correctly and he got a 65 on a test doesn't seem fair and right to me. I will pray for you to have wisdom because I don't know what I would do at this point about that teacher. Bless your little mommy heart. Love you!

[Tracie Claiborne]

And what other Mother would go over his words EVERY night and have him test on them? None I know! You are a wonderful Mom and the teacher should have commended you for that.

[Sarah]

That's not right. Angry marker marks??? Not cool. So he needs to work on his handwriting. That's doable, but seems boring. There's got to be a fun way to work on handwriting or other fine motor practice that would eventually pay off with more legible handwriting.

Hrrrmmmm.

[bridgette]

Aw D. I am so sorry. I get that they focus on handwriting, but it's not even a month into the school year. You went over them, you know that he knows them-I can't believe that the teacher wouldn't even work with you. And maybe that teacher should have worked on handwriting more last year! Grr. Hugs to G. And you. :)

[Stephanie]

The marker marks were not angry; they are not sentient. Were they made in anger? Seems doubtful.

Dudes--Take a step back.

The overarching important things are:
Is he learning a good work ethic that will stand him in good stead to tackle his studies later in life? (Seems like he is if you're already studying at home.) Did he achieve the aims of his studying, regardless of whether those achievements were recognized by the powers that be? (Seems like, largely, he did.)

This may be considered a lesson in the fact that if you know something but can't effectively communicate it, you can't really get credit for knowing it. It doesn't mean he failed at spelling, he simply failed to communicate his spelling knowledge effectively. That's a different skill entirely, whether it be handwriting now, clear sentence construction later, etc. But both knowledge and the ability to communicate said knowledge are often requisite in life. But it's no big deal, it just means that there's something else to work on.

This may also be considered a lesson in how one's real accomplishments are not always recognized by the powers that be. You cannot always change that. You often cannot. Looks like here, you've found that you can't. So, you regroup. Change the things you can. Which in this case, might be handwriting. If you find you can't change the handwriting or the powers that be, you can change your perspective on the situation. He will eventually get better at handwriting, but if, for some reason, he doesn't, then you'll need to figure some work-arounds for enabling him to effectively communicate what he knows.

G has a very reasonable and pragmatic perspective on this issue--it's just a first grade spelling test.

(I'm not trying to be didactic or patronizing here, just trying to bring a dispassionate perspective to the table for consideration.)

[Chelle]

Awwww! I totally feel for you! I too am surprised by this. It is a SPELLING test not a handwriting test. Most first grade boys do not have the fine motor skills to write neatly, some don't get that for a very long time. That first grade teacher ought to know that! She can focus on handwriting all she wants but label it handwriting! I would be tempted to bring it up to the principal. Just tell him we studied hard for a spelling test not a handwriting test and if you see here, he spelled them correctly.

[Stephanie]

Chelle, I know from checking your blog that your children don't go to G's school, so I hope that you happen to know for a fact that G's principal is a he and are not just assuming that the highest office in the school is held by a man . . .

[Beverly]

I think it's best not to show this disappointment to a kid. This test won't keep him from getting into college, so it is a good learning opportunity. The truth is, if the teacher can't read his writing, then she doesn't know if he got it correct, and it sounds like the test was both for spelling and handwriting. Now you know. Focus on the positive things. He learned his spelling words! Next week you can focus some more time on the handwriting.

This is also a good learning opportunity for mama. The fact that you are more worked up about it than he is shows that you are a little bit making this about you. It's so hard not to! My youngest child is now in fourth grade and I am finally able to keep my nose out of things. I help him with his work just as much as I did with the first one, but I can truly see that it is his work and his accomplishment or failure.

You are doing a good job. Don't get discouraged!

[Amber Scurlock]

AWW! This makes me sad! It will get better, I am sure! I always wished there was some other way to correct a paper than with marker x's everywhere! You're doing the best you can and that counts for a LOT! =) I'll be praying for him - and for compassion from his teacher!!

[Bloomingayls]

Doris, I'm a lurker. . .I check your blog daily, and refer to you in my own as the best scrpabooker out there hands down. I was so excited when I realized you were going to post all of August. I read this story about you and the "G-man" and it broke my heart. All children learn differently and I hate this system that treats them like clones and begins judging them at such an early age ~ Children rise to their own potential on their own time table. Yes he needs to learn, but not at the expense of his self esteem or your sanity. You don't want him to become a self fulfilling prophecy at the hands of the mediocre. There are too many things that can go wrong when kids don't feel good about themselves the least of which is a bad grade on a spelling test. Education is like a "Field of Dreams" - you build it and they will come. What is it with the handwriting; I'm a child of the 50's, I think good penmanship went out generations ago. As I recall the light bulb went on after years of loops and practice, not in the first weeks of school. Take care and good luck.

[Bloomingayls]

LOL- I checked what I wrote a dz times - you are not a scrpabooker - you are scrapbooker. . .it's tough when you're young and tough when you're old. . .

[Helen]

Doris, feel for you both, I really do. Sounds like the teacher needs a serious talking to before she does some permanent damage.

[Patricia]

Oh, I hate to see this! Not all of us have the best hand writing! It seems to me a better grade and maybe a little note at the top saying "practice your letters" with a smiley face would have been more appropriate. Should this have been my son, I would be asking the teacher for some tips to how he could improve and have her do a little teaching. Good luck to him on his next test!

[Jersey Girl Anne]

Hi! I have never posted on your blog before but I feel for you and understand what you are going through. A spelling test is just that...a spelling test!! Handwriting is important in and of itself but to put the focus on handwriting so soon is too much. Where my kids went to school,they didn't focus on handwriting til 2nd grade!!! It hurts us as parents to see a teacher act like this but thankfully your child does not seem to mind! Wow, my daughter had a 3rd grade teacher who didn't care that she always misspelled her name. That bothers my daughter to this day and she is 27 yrs old!

[Kristine S]

Seriously? I would have cried too.

[betsy sammarco]

hey Doris! I'm writing this as a mom of ds#1 who I just took to college yesterday for his freshman year, and ds#2 who is a senior in hs now. School has been so hard for ds#2 especially. You're a teacher, so you know . . . every school is different, every teacher is different. I had to work soooo hard with ds#2, but looking back now, I can't regret a single minute of it. Don't get discouraged. Can you get help from the school? Our public school was GREAT in helping me with ds#2 and his academics. And it saved me from nearly jumping out a window on some days . . . ;)

[Wendy McKee]

my heart broke reading this...i know how my heart breaks for my little one when something like this happens...i am so sorry...i really am.

[Jill Sprott]

Isn't it sickening how they "start 'em young" when it comes to testing? Teachers really need to think about what they are really testing, and ask whether the grades they are giving are truly assessing those skills. This is a "decoy" test -- seemingly testing one thing while actually testing another. That test was clearly a handwriting test disguised as a spelling test.

One year, one of my daughter's teachers disappointed us greatly with her test "ethics", and I reacted similarly. I ended up taking the issue to the principal, questioning the objective of the test. What was the test really assessing? How were students prepared for this test? Ultimately, a teacher should be planning instruction backward so that the optimum level of student success is achieved. That means preparing students for the test AND preparing parents to help their children do well on that test. At that age, a pretest should be part of the process. Perhaps you can ask the teacher to set up a weekly appointment with your son to administer a pretest (or you could administer one at home and have her grade the test in school), so that by the time the real test rolls around, you can tailor your at-home support to ensure that he does better than he did on the pretest.

[Staci Taylor]

Oh man, I can see why you felt discouraged and sad. You are a mama bear, wanting to protect your little guy. It's so hard to watch our kiddos put so much into something and then still not get the end result that we know they deserve. the good part is that it sounds like this was much harder on you than it was on him (not that it is good for you, but you know what i mean ;-) and hopefully this will not discourage g. I know kindy was rough for you guys, but it sounds like g has a fantastic attitude, even if his teacher does not :-( Hugs, my friend!!

[lisa truesdell]

ooooh, d. i'm behind in blogging, and missed this. i'm bummed for you and g. =(

ben's in second grade and still flip flops his lowercase b's and d's intermittantly... but his teacher, who knows from working w/ the kids all week w/ their words that he KNOWS how to spell them, is willing to give him a pass when he goes the wrong way. and no, she's not a pushover who just wants to keep kids + parents happy, she's a veteran teacher who has had major accolades bestowed upon her by her peers, by parents, AND by students.

((hugs)) to both of you.

[Rosemary]

As the mother of 2 children who are different learners, this type of behavior by a teacher should not be tolerated. Sadly, teachers come out with a degree but are not aware of children who may learn differently. My middle child performs poorly on written tests, but when given verbally always scores well. Thank goodness for IEP's (individualized education plans). Please don't let this teacher get away with this! My prayers are with you and your son.